2020 Year in Review

2020 has certainly been a year of unexpected change and uncertainty. A little over 12 months ago, I went skydiving, jumping out of a plane at 15,000 ft. It symbolised the start of a new chapter in my life; one where I needed to adapt to change and to the unknown. I needed to learn to release control, to trust and to let life unfold. Little did I know that I would need these mental skills and adaptability to weather me through the 2020 storm.

There is a saying that I love and I try to live by each day “life is not about waiting for the storm to pass; it’s about learning to dance in the rain”.  This year has been one big storm for so many – friends, family and strangers alike, and we’ve all had to learn to dance in some way. We’ve seen a year of wildfires, floods, a global pandemic, lost jobs, lost businesses and greater mental health awareness. But it’s also been a year of kindness, compassion, connection and gratitude.

It’s been a year of ups and downs, tears and laughter, uncertainty and faith. While the people around me have gone through different things and at varying levels and timing throughout the year, there seems to have been one common shift - they are more grateful, for the simple things. They are starting to see the light shine through the cracks of 2020. They are starting to reflect, re-assess and re-align: their values, their ‘why’ and their life in general.

When I first started reflecting on the year that has gone, I wondered what on earth I had achieved this year. But I soon realised that SO MUCH has been achieved; mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I had to remind myself not to minimise my internal growth and success.

As 2020 wraps up, I encourage you to take some time to reflect on all the little things we take for granted, or those little things we see as ‘normal’ and ‘everyday’, but added up, they shape us, inspire us, and hold us together so that we can keep moving forward.

Think about the personal empire you built this year – physical, mental, emotional and spiritual changes and transformations. Reflect on the year that’s gone, and what you want for the year ahead. Remove the illusions of what ‘should’ have been, remove the illusion that you need to have it all together, and celebrate your accomplishments; no matter how small.

Sit down with a coffee or a wine, and use the following questions to prompt you in your reflection.

2020 Wrap Up:

1. Who were you with when you felt your best this year? (PS. stick with those who pull the magic out of you!)

2. What were you doing when you felt your best?

3. Where did you find joy?

4. Where did your energy come alive?

5. What is the fierceness that resides deep within you?

6. Where was your discomfort?

7. Where were you living in the grey?

8. Where did ‘comparison’ rob you of your joy?

9. What are the lessons learnt?

10. What old habits (or people) didn’t serve you this year? (Stop choosing what isn’t choosing you!)

11. What have you discovered about yourself?

12. What 3 things did you accomplish in 2020?

13. What are 3 things you’re grateful for?

14. What aspects of 2020 can you release and leave behind?

15. What can you take with you into 2021?

2021 – A Fresh Start:

1. How do you want to feel in 2021? (When you visualise coming home to a life you love, what does that look like and feel like?)

2. What 3 things will you accomplish in 2021?

3. What other goals do you have that you’ll make a start on? (think about the goals that excite AND scare you)

4. What role models can you draw strength from to help you with your goals?

5. What new habits will you start to better support you?

6. How do you want to direct your energy in relationships, your business/career and yourself?

7. What hobbies or activities will you make more time for?

8. What friendships and connections will you nurture and make more time for?

9. What does ‘self-care’ mean to you?

10. What 5 things can you do to take better care of YOU?

11. Who will you turn to when you need help and support? (think of those who have earned your trust, as well as the many wonderful mental health organisations like Lifeline, Beyond Blue, Headspace etc.)

Don’t be afraid to start all over again! If you need to, re-write your life script – you’ll be starting from experience, not from scratch. That’s what 2021 will be for me!! I’ve come to realise that sometimes you have to let go of the picture of what you thought your life would look like and simply turn the page and begin a brand-new chapter.

Learn to find the joy in the story you’re living today.

And remember to keep things in perspective and find certainty amongst the chaos. The biggest thing that fuels us in times of uncertainty is FAITH: just knowing that we can handle whatever comes our way. Easier said than done; I know! But the best way we can maintain our faith is by connecting with others; so, don’t be tempted to withdraw or keep small during 2021. Humans are amazing when we are connected - we learn together, adapt together and grow together.

Let the unknown surprise you and guide you. 

I’ll leave you with 5 of my ultimate ‘self-help’ tips for 2021 (adapted from something I read this year):

• KISS more, and with passion

• READ with curiosity

• Feel the MUSIC

• WRITE deeply and often

• BREATHE from the heart

Enjoy this next chapter, and be open to new challenges and adventures. Do more of what sparks your soul.

“You can do anything you want, just not everything you want. You’ve got to choose. Don’t waste time with indecision. Nothings will feel perfect. Just choose, and start walking the path to greatness” – Tom Bilyeu

With love,

Christine xx

KEEPING THE CONNECTION

DURING COVID-19

An 8-10 minute read…

As we move into a new era of uncertainty, there’s no denying that we need to find a way to stay calm, centred and connected.

I’d be pressed to find a single person in my team who is not working and contributing above and beyond right now. It’s what’s needed, and I have to say that I am extremely proud of the way our team has pulled together, collaborated and helped each other create new ways of working and living.

Working remotely from home might seem like a dream at first, but there’s a real possibility that the isolation, lack of structure and endless distractions might get the better of us! To work and live (eat, sleep, play) effectively in the same place is an art. I’m sure all of us at some point in our careers have worked from home on an ad-hoc basis. But every day for weeks or months on end? Perhaps not.

CONNECTION:

Right now, we need to be socially more connected than ever (albeit remotely). We need to reach out to each other, check in on a personal level, ask each other how we’re doing, share how we’re feeling and lift one another as best we can.

I know that we have an enormous capacity to navigate the unknown and shift gears. I also know that we have an enormous capacity to dig deep and come together to support one another in times of need. Working remotely is going to mean showing up and looking for alternative ways of personal connection and collaboration to meet the challenges we are going to face: sharing a laugh, sharing a meme, sharing music, sharing a glass of wine, just to name a few.

MENTAL WELLBEING:

In these Covid-19 times, it’s so easy to operate from a place of fear and uncertainty. Fear is a natural human instinct. I suspect fears will (or perhaps has already started to) go beyond actually contracting the Covid-19 virus. We can’t see our friends or colleagues in the ways we are used to (personal and genuine energy exchange), we are watching on as our friends and strangers lose their jobs and livelihoods, and we watch as the global economic future is unknown. People are suffering. Our planet is suffering.

We’ve all heard the advice on social distancing and washing our hands. But what about the psychological disruption working from home has on all of us? Establishing psychological safety amongst our team and our loved ones is paramount.

We will all be wrestling with some level of fear right now, and perhaps a little ‘wobbliness’ and overwhelm. We’ll waver between “yeah I’m doing okay, we will all be okay” to “OMG, what the hell is going on right now; I’m totally freaking out”. 

Some of you will be feeling extremely uncomfortable or anxious, others will be feeling alone, and some might be feeling indifferent, confident or optimistic. Whatever you’re feeling, it’s so important to acknowledge your feelings as they fluctuate day by day, week by week. We are human beings. We feel. And it’s ok to let others know how you’re feeling. It’s ok to tell your co-workers “I’m having a hard time,” or “I cried last night”. 

Emotions need motion, so it’s really important that we acknowledge what we are going through, share how we feel, and feel safe to know that we won’t be judged (share your feelings and experiences with those who have earned your trust).

COLLECTIVE STRESS AND MAINTAINING SANITY:

I believe that what we are collectively experiencing right now is a heightened level of stress, grief and trauma. Whether we’ve realised this or not. We are living in an uncertain and unpredictable time right now. The world has changed. We know it is temporary, but it doesn’t feel that way. We know things are going to be different, but we don’t know how. So, all we can do is lean into the process and into our daily lives with some sort of normalcy, and as best we can. 

My biggest tips for maintaining our sanity and a level of ‘normal’ in these uncertain times include:

• Create a welcoming working space at home

• Maintain your routines and rituals

• Don’t use extra time to work

• Don’t work from your bed

• Maintain perspective

• Drink lots of water

• Move your body

• Set boundaries

• Ask for help

• Stay calm

• And….wash your hands! ☺

BOUNDARIES AND ROUTINES:

One thing I’d like to emphasise is “Don’t use extra time to work”. Over time, this will lead to increased stress levels, which can interfere with our balance between rational thinking and emotions. I’m definitely guilty of using extra time to work! When we work from home, we tend to work more. As we no longer have the commute, we tend to use the extra time to catch-up on our work and our Inbox. 

But we need to stop this and create time boundaries for ourselves, and appreciate that our co-workers need to do the same. 

• Clock on and clock off

• Don’t be afraid to tell your colleagues that you’re signing off for the day

• Don’t be tempted to check one last email at 10pm – go to bed! Rest your mind and your body

• And, use the extra time to do something else for yourself

What did you previously do in your commute to work? Chances are, you took that time to listen to music, read a book or walk or bike ride to work. Don’t stop that routine. Ride or walk around the block during your usual commute times. Sit on your balcony and read for 30 minutes before your work day starts and again as it ends. This is the transition period between ‘home’ and ‘work’. So, keep your routine ‘commute’ going, otherwise the lines between home and work will start to get blurred. Long term, it’s not healthy.

LOOK AFTER YOURSELF AND OTHERS:

We don’t know how long this pandemic is going to last and what additional restrictions are going to be placed upon us. Find ways to keep your mind, body and soul moving. Look after yourself and others for the long haul. 

• Walk to your local café and pick up a takeaway coffee

• Take mini-breaks and stretch your muscles (especially your neck, shoulders and lower back)

• If you have a laptop, find spaces in your home that you can move to throughout the day

• Consider the ergonomics around your workspace (chair, keyboard, etc)

• Meditate or practice mindfulness

• Play or listen to music

• Exercise, dance, move your body

• Read a book or watch a movie

• Stock up on compassion (not toilet paper!)

• Let go of the things you can’t control

• FaceTime your friends and loved ones

• Have a virtual dinner party (support your local restaurant, get takeaway or home delivery, get comfy, then connect with your friends over Zoom or FaceTime.

• Take a virtual tour of some of the world’s most beautiful national parks and museums – you don’t need to travel the world to experience the world (click here)

• Be present and ground yourself. (Your mind might start going to the future and imagining the worst. To calm and ground yourself, check out Elizabeth Gilbert’s simple trick 5-4-3-2-1. Look at your current surroundings, then:

5 – Name 5 things that you can see

4 – name 4 things that you can hear

3 – name 3 things that you can feel

2 – name 2 things that you can smell

1 – name 1 thing that you can taste.

There. You’ve come into the present moment. Breathe and Smile).

Most importantly, keep things in perspective and find certainty amongst the chaos. The biggest thing that fuels us in times of fear and uncertainty is FAITH: knowing that we can handle whatever comes our way. We maintain this faith best, by connecting with others; so, don’t be tempted to withdraw or keep small during these challenging times. Humans are amazing when we are connected, especially when all hell breaks loose – we create an emotionally fit team, we create a collaborative inner strength and a group psychology of resilience. We learn together, adapt together and grow together.

Finally, the team at Headspace pulled together a free collection of resources to help us through the stress and anxiety of the current global crisis. To help us all lead with kindness and understanding through the uncertainty. https://www.headspace.com/covid-19. And if you want a quick stress-relief meditation that you can do right from your desktop, then click here. 

I look forward to seeing you online, hearing how you’re feeling, and watching any funny videos and images you might share on our Facebook page.

I’ll leave you with this quote from Dave Hollis:

“In the rush to return to normal, use this time to consider which parts of normal are worth rushing back to”

Stay Safe. Stay Connected.

Year in Review

What a year 2019 has been. The energy around us has been shifting and has left some people feeling a little flat or unsure, hoping for a better 2020. Some will look back on the past year with sorrow, disappointment, or a feeling of non-achievement. Others will look back and smile, bursting with excitement about what they achieved, the relationships that began and the difference that was made.

No matter what kind of year this was for you, take some time for a calm reflection. Take inventory of all the areas in your life, some of which you’ll be proud of, and others you might want to change. Clear the deck, look back on the year that was and refocus so that you can move into the New Year with a renewed sense of purpose for 2020.

The important thing about self-reflection is to brutally honest with yourself. Most of us are so busy creating the illusion that we have everything together on the outside, when quite frankly, sometimes we don’t. We lie to ourselves and to others, to avoid feeling lonely, bad or feeling like we’ve somehow failed. We make excuses that only make us feel worse and damage our self-esteem.

I’ve just completed my reflection for 2019, and now I’m preparing some goals and plans for the coming new year. I kept my reflection a lot simpler this year - I decided to answer 11 key reflection questions for 2019, and 11 key planning questions for 2020.

Even though I’d love to get rid of the word ‘busy’, it’s fair to say that most people’s lives are just ‘busy’ right now (hopefully with some ‘fun busy’ too!). However, I’d highly recommend you schedule at least 30-60 minutes of quiet time just for YOU, in order to reflect on the year that’s gone, and what you want for the year ahead.

Think about the experiences that have shaped you. Celebrate the wins, learn from your challenges, drop the excuses, and just write. You are YOU. No one is perfect and we shouldn’t aim to be either.

11 reflection questions for the PAST year:

1. What are the moments that were wonderful, made you smile or laugh, and you want to remember?

2. What are the moments that were painful?

3. What are the moments that taught you some powerful lessons?

4. What are your main lessons so that you can move forward and make some changes in the New Year?

5. What are the things that have held you back in the last year? (It could be a bad habit, a negative belief, a friend, excuses or behaviours. Think of this as your “NOT-TO-DO-LIST”; those things and people that make you miserable, lowers your self-esteem, or anything you do out of guilt, FOMO or obligation).

6. What’s working really well in your life right now? (think about your life areas such as health, friendships, love, finances, career etc).

7. What’s not working so well?

8. What goals did you set for 2019? Do you start them, are you in the middle of them, or did you achieve them?

9. Did you do anything (big or small) that moved you outside your comfort zone?

10. What’s the best advice, saying or quote you heard or read this year?

11. What are you most grateful or thankful for?

When you’ve finished your reflection on the year that’s just been, re-read your answers. How do you feel? What do you want to change?

Planning for a New Year ahead can be tough for a lot of people. I often hear “I don’t really know what I want, but I do know that it’s got to be better than this year!” Perhaps with some better planning and regular check-ins during the year, we might get to the end of 2020 and feel a little different, and with a better sense of accomplishment and direction.

When you’re creating direction for the coming year, reflect on what really lights you up, what you enjoy doing, and where you really want to be. Figure out what no longer serves you, question old habits and open yourself to possibility.

11 questions FOR Clarity and direction for the New Year:

1. What changes do you want for yourself in 2020?

2. If you have a dream or some goals, what are they? (think about the goals that excite you AND scare you)

3. What habits you are willing and able to drop in order to move one step closer to your goals and dream? (think about Q5 in the reflection section)

4. What role models can you draw strength from to help you with your goals and dream?

5. How can you give more to yourself in the New Year? (self-care, discovery, learning, time-out etc.)

6. What three things can you do to help yourself be more present in the moment? (think about your 5 senses)

7. What friendships or connections do you want to nurture and grow?

8. What activities, hobbies or interests would you like to make more time for?

9. What’s one affirmation, quote or saying that could help you believe that you can achieve something different than the past year?

10. When things get tough and you’re hard on yourself, what are 5 things that you can do or use to help you through? (e.g. meditate, exercise, journal, call a friend, etc.)

11. Who is your support network? (think about your trusted friends and advisors who you can turn to for advice, a hug, some perspective or some cheering on).

Remember, change in any area just needs a subtle but tangible shift in your thoughts and attitude. It helps to write things down so you don’t feel overloaded, you free your mind a little, and you have some direction.

Enjoy this process. It’s the dawn of a brand new decade. It’s a fresh start so don’t dwell on the past at this time. Think about what you want for yourself and those around you over the next 10 years. Start at chapter one, clarify your goals for 2020 and act on them.

Be open to new challenges and adventures. Be reminded that life is full and beautiful no matter what mess is going on around you. I hope that you do more of what makes you smile and what sparks your soul in 2020.

On the Edge of Change

Over the past 4 weeks it became abundantly clear that I needed to let life unfold, welcome change, go with the flow and move past resistance.

It was time to open my heart to new experiences, so this week, I jumped out of a plane! Sound crazy? Perhaps; but it didn't feel so crazy at the time. I never thought I would ever skydive, but once I'd made the decision, I felt a level of peace and acceptance that I was ready to spread my wings and fly; quite literally!

This wasn't an experience where I needed to overcome my fears. It was an experience where I needed to believe in my ability to adapt to change and to the unknown. I needed to learn to release control, to trust, and to let life unfold - things I find difficult to do sometimes.

When moving through change, there are times I need to retreat and go within, and times I need to be fearless in my openness and vulnerability.

Change can be confronting. Often change is unexpected but highly visible, like ending a relationship, finding and moving into a new home, becoming a parent, adjusting to your children moving out of home or looking for and starting a new job. Other times, life can be a series of subtle changes that largely go unnoticed, bubbling away just beneath the surface.

Either way, when change happens, tension builds and your body will often tell you that something needs your attention.

This year has been filled with the usual challenges but somehow they were more highly charged and emotional. The past few months in particular have brought a lot of change and I've reacted like I'm playing a game of emotional tug of war, or riding an emotional roller coaster. Most of this change was visible, but I'd missed some of the subtle messages.

When I don't  listen to my body and I continue living in the same way, resisting those subtle messages that something wasn't right, the tension gets stronger; I feel more stressed, I ruminate too much, and I feel frustrated by the same old stuff! Then of course it gets too much and I have no choice but to give it the attention it deserves.

One heart-breaking and unexpected change recently triggered old wounds and in turn shone a very bright light on all the other changes going on around me at the same time. I suddenly felt overwhelmed and on edge, so I knew I needed to address all of it head on.

It took me four weeks to accept and understand what was happening before I decided to jump from that plane. Effectively dealing with change is not easy, but it's achievable. I needed to get out of the head space I was in, so I took action.

First, I had to remind myself daily to do 5 basic things in order to relax:

1. Breathe deeply, counting backwards from 5.

2. Unclench my jaw and relax my facial muscles (you'd be surprised just how tense your face gets).

3. Close my eyes and gently smile.

4. Step outside into nature, move my body and get some sun on my face (even if it was only 5 minutes).

5. Breathe again, counting upwards to 10.

Now I was ready to figure this stuff out.

1.     Delve Within

I checked in on my core, and my emotional awareness. I needed clarity so that I could consciously see the changes unfolding. I zoomed out and got perspective and noticed my subtle language changes and reactions to my stress. I allowed for more mindfulness and self care, and I journaled to get everything out of my head and onto paper. I needed to see the patterns and the emotions. I'd been feeling frustrated, sad, angry, restless, out of control, anxious, grief and disconnected. This was how my body was responding to the whirlwind of change around me. I then realised I needed to shift into a different state of mind.

2.     Practise Gratitude

It was hard at first to be thankful for all that was unfolding, but over time I felt the magic of letting go and simply being grateful for the lessons, insights and experiences. After all, life wasn't all bad, so I had to be reminded of that! Gratitude brought an instant smile and a sense of calm. I just needed to steer my thoughts and emotions in a different direction. As I look back now, I can see why it’s all happening and unfolding, and I'm grateful for the push forward. I am still processing strong emotions, but I also feel liberated knowing there is imminent and positive change ahead. I have a renewed desire to move forward.  

3.     Realign Values

During this process, it became clear there were key values missing in how I was living my life. I was no longer making decisions that were aligned with my values.  No wonder I was feeling a little out of control. I reminded myself of my top values -adventure, connection, integrity, harmony, freedom and growth, amongst others. I vowed to shift and reclaim my sense of adventure, and make growth and harmony a habit. I needed to listen to my body and intuition again. To trust.

4.     Shift Mindset

I started devising possible ways I could move through change with greater ease, and to solve some of my current challenges. I have to admit though, changing my mindset was easier said than done! The process was full of two steps forward one step back. Resistance was my (unwanted) friend again! I doubted, cried and grieved. I also trusted, breathed and smiled. I oscillated every other day. I also connected with some trusted friends for support as I knew I couldn't remain isolated and process everything on my own.

I live-edited my thinking and started to see that these changes could be opportunities to grow. Discomfort is a necessary part of growth. Day by day, I allowed awareness to enter my mind, opened my heart, and allowed and validated my feelings. I adopted a more positive energy and started to release the tight grip I had on life. I began to lean into the changes that were unfolding. 

5.     Find Joy and Re-energise

It was now time to invigorate, push outside my comfort zone and challenge myself. I wanted to find my joy again, re-energise and reset. I decided that I was drawing a line in the sand, as a new season was beginning. After four weeks processing everything, I was ready to embrace a new path; the unknown. 

And what better way to start this new beginning than to go skydiving - the ultimate unknown! I leaned into the experience and was fully present. The nerves never even set in. Not one bit. I was more like an excited little kid. I had to catch my breath, literally and figuratively the moment we jumped and were free falling. It was exhilarating and I felt a sense of release, adventure and freedom. In this moment, I was forced to trust, as I had no control. I was in the hands of my instructor, 15,000 feet in the air. This was now going to have to be my default setting when confronted with change or challenge in future: Trust, Release control, Let it unfold.

Change requires expansion of the heart and mind, being willing to push outside our comfort zone, and believing in our ability to adapt. The more our energy expands, the more we begin to trust in the process of life, and the more joy and freedom will enter our experiences.

Change can certainly be challenging but if you open up and simply allow, it can also bring some wonderful insights and new experiences into your life. You might not feel compelled to jump out of a plane like I did, but find that one adventurous thing that can ignite your spark again. Be open to new things and trust. Know that you have the ability to adapt to change.

Christine x

Getting back into the swing of a New Year

Are you struggling to get back into the swing of things after Christmas and having some time off?

As I started preparing to return to work, I noticed my mind automatically started spinning and worrying about what had to be done when I got back to the office. I felt my muscles tensing and the overwhelm was beginning to bubble. I was losing focus even before I’d started!

My wonderfully organised colleague expressed the same feelings of overwhelm and was finding it tough picking up her thought processes. My heart sank. “Oh no, not overwhelm already!” My advice to her was “just pause; we’ll make a plan together”.

So I took my own advice!

I paused, re-centred my energy and cleared my thoughts.

I realised in that moment that I had a choice: to stay in the low energy and negative mindset, or choose a higher energy state by smiling and being more intentional about my thoughts and feelings.

I chose the latter of course.

I was reminded again, that it’s so important to connect with others and be honest about how we’re feeling. We’re all doing the best we can, and sometimes we just need a boost or reset from others around us.

So I power-walked to work on my first day back, and smiled the whole way. I chose to be deliberate with my thoughts, and opened my heart to a new day.

I know that every day I have a choice to show up, to be heart-centred and to smile. It’s the only way to re-gain focus and clarity and to get back into the swing of things again after a few weeks away from the office. I guess I surrendered to what is.

I feel so much calmer about what lies ahead and all the things I need to get done now that I’m back in the office.

My advice: get out of your own way, connect, and smile. Welcome to a brand new year!

End of Year Reflection

2018 End of Year Reflection + 2019 Direction

This is a great time of year to reflect! For the last few years, I’ve sat down with a cup of coffee and music on in the background, and completed an end-of-year reflection. It’s amazing to look back on the last 12 months and see what I’ve accomplished, learnt or enjoyed!

I don’t know about you, but I often play down my achievements during the year, thinking they’re not exactly noteworthy. After all, they are just normal every-day things aren’t they? Well, no, not always. No matter how big or small, these every-day things are a part of who we are. They are part of a giant puzzle that tells a story - a story of our life.

Self-reflection is so important if we want to be the architect of our own life. By completing an end of year review, I get to zoom out and reflect on where I am right now and what the last 12 months has brought me.

This is a time to acknowledge my accomplishments (big and small), reflect on any lessons learned, check-in on how I’ve progressed with my goals, and reflect on what brought a smile to my face and really lit up my heart.

When I’ve finished reflecting and reviewing on the year that's just gone, it’s time to prepare for the New Year ahead! 

I think one of the reasons we get stuck in a rut or go into blame and comparison is because we don’t ask the right questions or give ourselves the time to explore where we are, what we've achieved and what we want for the year to come. 

Once I know what I want, and fully commit to it, I have power over my decisions and feel like I can create real change.

Completing a review and planning for the year to come is not something to rush, so I tend to schedule a time where I won't be interrupted for about 1-2 hours.

I’m very tactile so I print out my workbook, unplug from my devices (except for my music of course!), take myself off somewhere away from distractions and interruptions, and I get comfortable.

I start with a short breathing exercise to still my mind, and then I press play on my favourite music to get me inspired!

It’s a process I really enjoy. I’m reminded that life is full and beautiful no matter what mess has been going on around me. 

To access a copy of the workbook, complete your details below. I hope you enjoy the process too!

Wishing you a wonderful Christmas and a happy and spark-filled New Year!