Over the past 4 weeks it became abundantly clear that I needed to let life unfold, welcome change, go with the flow and move past resistance.
It was time to open my heart to new experiences, so this week, I jumped out of a plane! Sound crazy? Perhaps; but it didn't feel so crazy at the time. I never thought I would ever skydive, but once I'd made the decision, I felt a level of peace and acceptance that I was ready to spread my wings and fly; quite literally!
This wasn't an experience where I needed to overcome my fears. It was an experience where I needed to believe in my ability to adapt to change and to the unknown. I needed to learn to release control, to trust, and to let life unfold - things I find difficult to do sometimes.
When moving through change, there are times I need to retreat and go within, and times I need to be fearless in my openness and vulnerability.
Change can be confronting. Often change is unexpected but highly visible, like ending a relationship, finding and moving into a new home, becoming a parent, adjusting to your children moving out of home or looking for and starting a new job. Other times, life can be a series of subtle changes that largely go unnoticed, bubbling away just beneath the surface.
Either way, when change happens, tension builds and your body will often tell you that something needs your attention.
This year has been filled with the usual challenges but somehow they were more highly charged and emotional. The past few months in particular have brought a lot of change and I've reacted like I'm playing a game of emotional tug of war, or riding an emotional roller coaster. Most of this change was visible, but I'd missed some of the subtle messages.
When I don't listen to my body and I continue living in the same way, resisting those subtle messages that something wasn't right, the tension gets stronger; I feel more stressed, I ruminate too much, and I feel frustrated by the same old stuff! Then of course it gets too much and I have no choice but to give it the attention it deserves.
One heart-breaking and unexpected change recently triggered old wounds and in turn shone a very bright light on all the other changes going on around me at the same time. I suddenly felt overwhelmed and on edge, so I knew I needed to address all of it head on.
It took me four weeks to accept and understand what was happening before I decided to jump from that plane. Effectively dealing with change is not easy, but it's achievable. I needed to get out of the head space I was in, so I took action.
First, I had to remind myself daily to do 5 basic things in order to relax:
Breathe deeply, counting backwards from 5.
Unclench my jaw and relax my facial muscles (you'd be surprised just how tense your face gets).
Close my eyes and gently smile.
Step outside into nature, move my body and get some sun on my face (even if it was only 5 minutes).
Breathe again, counting upwards to 10.
Now I was ready to figure this stuff out.
1. Delve Within
I checked in on my core, and my emotional awareness. I needed clarity so that I could consciously see the changes unfolding. I zoomed out and got perspective and noticed my subtle language changes and reactions to my stress. I allowed for more mindfulness and self care, and I journaled to get everything out of my head and onto paper. I needed to see the patterns and the emotions. I'd been feeling frustrated, sad, angry, restless, out of control, anxious, grief and disconnected. This was how my body was responding to the whirlwind of change around me. I then realised I needed to shift into a different state of mind.
2. Practise Gratitude
It was hard at first to be thankful for all that was unfolding, but over time I felt the magic of letting go and simply being grateful for the lessons, insights and experiences. After all, life wasn't all bad, so I had to be reminded of that! Gratitude brought an instant smile and a sense of calm. I just needed to steer my thoughts and emotions in a different direction. As I look back now, I can see why it’s all happening and unfolding, and I'm grateful for the push forward. I am still processing strong emotions, but I also feel liberated knowing there is imminent and positive change ahead. I have a renewed desire to move forward.
3. Realign Values
During this process, it became clear there were key values missing in how I was living my life. I was no longer making decisions that were aligned with my values. No wonder I was feeling a little out of control. I reminded myself of my top values -adventure, connection, integrity, harmony, freedom and growth, amongst others. I vowed to shift and reclaim my sense of adventure, and make growth and harmony a habit. I needed to listen to my body and intuition again. To trust.
4. Shift Mindset
I started devising possible ways I could move through change with greater ease, and to solve some of my current challenges. I have to admit though, changing my mindset was easier said than done! The process was full of two steps forward one step back. Resistance was my (unwanted) friend again! I doubted, cried and grieved. I also trusted, breathed and smiled. I oscillated every other day. I also connected with some trusted friends for support as I knew I couldn't remain isolated and process everything on my own.
I live-edited my thinking and started to see that these changes could be opportunities to grow. Discomfort is a necessary part of growth. Day by day, I allowed awareness to enter my mind, opened my heart, and allowed and validated my feelings. I adopted a more positive energy and started to release the tight grip I had on life. I began to lean into the changes that were unfolding.
5. Find Joy and Re-energise
It was now time to invigorate, push outside my comfort zone and challenge myself. I wanted to find my joy again, re-energise and reset. I decided that I was drawing a line in the sand, as a new season was beginning. After four weeks processing everything, I was ready to embrace a new path; the unknown.
And what better way to start this new beginning than to go skydiving - the ultimate unknown! I leaned into the experience and was fully present. The nerves never even set in. Not one bit. I was more like an excited little kid. I had to catch my breath, literally and figuratively the moment we jumped and were free falling. It was exhilarating and I felt a sense of release, adventure and freedom. In this moment, I was forced to trust, as I had no control. I was in the hands of my instructor, 15,000 feet in the air. This was now going to have to be my default setting when confronted with change or challenge in future: Trust, Release control, Let it unfold.
Change requires expansion of the heart and mind, being willing to push outside our comfort zone, and believing in our ability to adapt. The more our energy expands, the more we begin to trust in the process of life, and the more joy and freedom will enter our experiences.
Change can certainly be challenging but if you open up and simply allow, it can also bring some wonderful insights and new experiences into your life. You might not feel compelled to jump out of a plane like I did, but find that one adventurous thing that can ignite your spark again. Be open to new things and trust. Know that you have the ability to adapt to change.
Christine x